Question, tell me what you think about me? I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.  Only ring your cell-y when I’m feelin lonely.  When it’s all over please get up and leave.  Question, tell me how you feel about this…

Once those lyrics blared out of the nightclubs’ speakers the men cleared the dance floor and the women put on their best Beyonce dance routine.  That song was HOT!  But it was more than that.  “Independent Women” was a single lady’s anthem.  How could women not get excited about a song that expressed the reality of how we were living?  Women, at least the women I know, were buying their own homes, cars and diamonds.

The song made it clear, Men are tools and truly Independent Women did not need them.

Of course that song led to many debates and conversations, especially with my girl, Miley.  How independent should women be when it comes to dating? My response: Woman should be inter-dependent when it comes to men and dating.  Miley and I would battle when it came to this topic because she felt I was taking something away from myself when played into the dependent role.

The debate would go on forever because I never equated being dependent on a man with taking away anything from myself.  I just allowed the “boy/girl roles” to play out when it came to dating.  I depended on the guy to plan a great date, come and pick me up, and do all of the chivalrous things that a man is supposed to do, including paying the bill.  I am sure he depended on me to look great and be good company.   A guy worth dating recognized that I was successful, hard-working and independent.  It wasn’t necessary to throw all of that independence in his face.

On this single ladies’ Friday I challenge all of my girls to put the Independent Woman to the side and let him feel needed.  Think Damsel in distress waiting for Prince Charming.  Try the inter-dependent dating and let me know how it goes.

RosyYnot – Contributing Editor

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