On Thursday I had a 2 hour conversation with my favorite Canadian Christian cousin. On Friday night Shelle invited me over for drinks and chit chat with the girls. Saturday was reserved for “small group” discussion at church. I rounded out the weekend by hosting a Sunday afternoon BBQ for a dear law school friend. Today, Karen and I shopped til’ we ran out of money. Seven different women and one topic of conversation. From Thursday to Thursday I heard the same question: “OMG, where are the men?” To each of my dear friends, I gave the same response: “they’re out there, but what are YOU doing to find them?”
When I joined match.com I did not obsess over my profile pic. My screen name is what stumped me. Then it came to me. On screen I was “RoseyYnot”. It was the perfect screen name since it explained my dating motto. Why not go out for a drink. Why not catch a movie. And why (if he asked politely and did not have six fingers) would I ever turn down a dinner invitation. In keeping with my motto, I met some great men. Of course, I dated quite a few jerks but at the very least I didn’t have to worry about fixing a meal on Friday nights.
The ladies in my life are beautiful, talented, intelligent, educated and Sexy. But, they have absolutely no sense when it comes to dating and meeting Mr. Rightnow (Ladies you need not size him up for the tuxedo). So my advice was summed up in two words: Why Not? If your co-worker says he’d like to see you outside of the office; if the “not so cute guy” you see every morning on the train asks to buy you a cup of coffee; if your personal trainer wants to give you one more session on him…simply say “Why Not.” Ladies the men are on the train, in the library, online, at your workplace…they’re everywhere. Please let them in by simply replying…WHY NOT.
RoseyYnot – Contributing Editor
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Little Holiday?? I LOVE IT!!!! Go RoseyYnot! WHY NOT for reall!!!! Single or committed, it’s all about the open mind and shedding premature expectations!! I hear ya!
I agree 100% Cuz…although I’ve always been the shy and reserved type when it came to dating, I figured out a while ago if I’m sane there has to be another sane person out there for me. Sometimes we are preoccupied when we’re on the train, in the library, or at the supermarket that we don’t notice those who are noticing us. Every guy isn’t going to be THE ONE…that’s why there is only ONE….but hey if he’s interesting enough and has great conversation go out for a drink, coffee, something. It’s only a drink there’s no law that says you have to marry him or go out with him again. I also think we really don’t know what we want in a man until we’ve met him. So throw all the eggs back in the basket. White, brown, yellow…we’re just getting older and the older we get the smaller the basket so no need to start off with a basket thats half full.
And if you’re not the bar/club type or just can’t seem to find the right one on the street…GO ONLINE!!!!….RIGHT ROSE….so many success stories not give it a shot. You’d be surprised…there are so many good guys out there online waiting for the right gal.
Sounds good, and most of the time this is definitely my take on “dating”. However, sometimes you say “why not” and have an array of reasons “why not”. It’s definitely a great idea to practice the “why not method” but when you’ve been in the game for a while the answer to is usually that it’s just not worth it!
Hey RoseyYnot, love your writing style very cute post!! I hear what you are saying and that and its a great philosphy but I think you have oversimplified dating a bit .
Hey FL – thanks for the compliment. As to your post…Dating is simple. And while I admit that the “Why Not Method” may not be for everyone, I think it should be. Steve Harvey recently published a New York Times bestseller titled “Act like a lady, think like a Man” Have you ever observed men in a club; they scope out the scene, “kick it” to at least 5 women and leave with at least 1 solid “date lead” by the end of the night. In essence, they are using the Method. They’re not over thinking it, trying their luck and securing at least one date for the following week. FL it can be that simple if you allow it to be.
Fashionkat1 – it sounds like you’ve already thrown in the towel. When was the last time you said “Why Not.” Girl it is still worth it, it’s like the lottery…you have to be in it to win it. Stay in the game, just remember to play it well.
Ladies, all I’m saying is that if a gentleman that looks like Neyo (without his hat on) requests your company for an evening out – DO NOT think about the shape of his head – use the Method and you just might just hit the jackpot…chi chang.
I fully believe in the idea of ” Why Not” But I think it goes far deeper then just applying it to dating. You have to reprogram the way you approach things in your life in general to be geared to that philosophy. I always say self reflection is key! Women always cry out saying: “Where are all the men?!?!, It’s so hard to find a decent guy/date” But I say WHERE ARE YOU AT!? Because they are all in front of you waiting.
You can be sexy, intelligent, great job and all that but those things don’t define the core you. Guys can smell desperation a mile a way. They want that girl that in short isn’t too much work. They won’t have to think so hard to just get to know you/ approach you.
There is nothing wrong with having standards as long as it isn’t based on superficial needs. Earlier on I made up a manifesto, in this was a list that I felt not only a guy should match up to but I had to as well. We can’t ask for a man to be all these things and for us not to be as well.
My point here is the “Why Not” philosophy is the best way to see not only dating but LIFE in general. If your not getting the results you want in anything that your doing. Then its time to reflect on what you have been doing and not be afraid to change it up (as long as you stay to true to you.)
How long can you say I have no luck with dating when you don’t reevaluate where you stand in your own life? Redefine and shape who you are first before you go out expecting the world.
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love+light
The “why not” philosophy is way better than “if i’m not interested why bother” philosophy. at least with the “why not” you’re enjoying movies, good wine, food you didn’t pay for and go to places and have great conversation.Yon don’t need to lower your standard or reevaluate your standard.There is a Mr. right out there for each one of us. It’s just that while we are looking far away for him, don’t forget to look around us. And remember, the average joe can sometimes turn out to be Mr. right.
The only one i think who should reevaluate themself is those pretty girls sitting there doing nothing with their life and waitting on prince charmant to save them. and when he doesn’t show up, they crying out “where are the men?” I mean it’s not the fifties, it’s the twenty first century. Now men wants intelligent, independent and productive women. Even they want to take care of you, they want to see you doing something with your life as well. Just like we don’t want loosers men too don’t.
And i think you right Fashionkat1. like they say “you can’t turn to all the dogs that bark.” Sometimes it’s just not worth it.