Nookie, Cookies, Sweet Stuff…Sex!  Please stop reading if you are saving yourself for marriage due to religious beliefs.  We will have to agree to disagree on this one.  I am Christian, I try to go to church every Sunday, and I love God.  At some point in my dating years, however, I had to set aside the struggle between my religious code of conduct and my natural womanly desires.  To me, sex was part of a healthy, mature and passionate relationship.

Last month Kaytie and I spent a warm evening in my backyard talking about her most recent relationship.   She met him on Match.com and things were going well.   She seemed excited about this one –even giggly and girly in the way she delivered her stories.  Kaytie and Don had been dating for a little over three months so it never occurred to me that they had not yet done the deed.  But she asked the question “is it too soon for me to give it up?”

“You’re kidding” was all I could counter.  Kaytie is 34 years old.  I did not think that women my age still counted the weeks or number of dates before deciding when to lay it on him.  I was especially confused by Kaytie’s question because she had just shared stories about spending the night with Don, going on an overnight trip and meeting him at his home for late night make-out sessions.  Poor Don.  If I was perplexed, how was he coping?  After a series of questions (which included whether Don was impotent) I finally answered.  “Hell yeah, you need to give it up!”  She started to reply with “God talk” and I quickly moved the conversation away from that.

Now, I am not here to judge, but I can not be the only person to think that Kaytie was being immature, hypocritical and selfish.   Single Ladies: have we not reached the age where having sex at any point of the relationship should be based on whether we want to get off?  In my experience, a mature man’s level of respect for a woman will not diminish because an intimate moment was shared.  Shouldn’t we be past thinking he won’t respect me in the morning?  And, how could she bring “religious morals” into the discussion when they went as far as “third base”, slept over on many occasions, and was playing with his sexual emotions.

The only thing Kaytie and I agreed on was that Don was a good guy.  He had to be to put up with that.  On this Single Ladies Friday, I am not recommending that my Single Lady friends give it up to any man that she is dating.  However, I am suggesting that the high-school antics of going as far as third base and holding out on the Home Run should be left to the high school kids.  Keep it grown and sexy.  Stop counting the number of dates – - Give it up because that is what happens in mature sexual relationships.

RoseyYNot – Contributing Editor

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First Domino Magazine and now this.  I’m sure many of you heard that Gourmet has shut down its test kitchen and shared it last recipe.  What next I wonder.  A magazine subscription is like an old friend that comes to visit like clockwork.  Gourmet was my companion – there when I got married to help me navigate the in and outs of making first meals, there when I hosted my first dinner party and there to inspire me throughout my thirty-somethings to be an overall better cook.  Gourmet you will be missed.  My only solace is that I can still leaf through my back issues  and reminisce about all the recipes we shared good and bad.  Gourmet R.I.P.

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