In dating it has to be played. I’ve had many conversations with friends who state that they are not interested in playing games or that they are done playing The Game. And to them I say, do not give in. Now, I am not advocating playing mind games or being devious in any way. To me, playing The Dating Game simply means not giving more than you are receiving, remaining one step ahead and not laying all your cards out for him to see.
Last week as a comment to “The Why’s of Dating”, L, a dedicated LittleHoliday reader, provided a Man’s perspective on why men do what they do. Amongst other things, he stated that a man wants a woman who is confident, secure, active and independent.
His comment reminded me of Joy. You remember her, the 25 year old beautiful and recently single girl who had her heart broken. In brief, this is how her story unfolded: she met a guy. He pursued her. She kept her cool – made him chase a little. Then she gave in and gave in hard. She laid her cards out before he showed his hand. He stopped chasing. He did not call as much and began taking her for granted. Shortly after, he called it off.
Had Joy played The Dating Game her circumstances may have been different. What I gathered from L’s comment was that a woman should remain secure even when she wants to show her deepest vulnerabilities. L may have advised Joy to call up her friends and hit the town when she felt an intense urge to spend every waking moment with dude. Rather than crying, Joy should have turned away and reminded herself that he was the one chasing.
So, on this Single Ladies’ Friday, I am suggesting that the Ladies keep it cool and stay on top. If he pursues you it is because he sees something he wants. Continue being that girl. Maintain your swagger, stay confident, secure, active and independent – - and keep playing The Game.
RoseyYNot – Contributing Editor
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Let the games begin, I’m feeling lucky.
I must shed a tear for all the fairytale dreamers out there. I be one of them, but I must say my dreams may have been shattered just a bit by the likes of these readings. It states that if one, and of course if that one be a female it is of most horror; but if a female decides the person that she has been dating or whatever this thing is called, if she decides to call this said guy she is somehow in the wrong. She had now become clingy or needy and she should deter her calling with calling a girlfriend instead; and hand out with the girlfriend in replacement for the one she truely wants to speak with or hang with. This is being done because the guy that has been showing interest in her will get what offened that she has feelings for him, or is it that this guy needs to feel more rejection to feel he really indeed likes this girl. I ask why become aquainted with said female if you don’t want her positive feedback of feelings toward oneself. So here’s what I got out of this reading, you must play some sort of game inorder to be a winner in this dating world. The game says that you must be un-emotional as possible and this way the person will respect and like you more, now why would I waste time with someone I don’t like or have know feelings for and I must ask why would a guy want to be with a girl who treats him as if she doesn’t want to be with him. I’m not sure who’s crazy here the girl that doesn’t mind being emotional and showing her feelings or the guy that gets off on the girl that shows him she would rather not be bothered with him. Please help me understand. It sounds like this is some kinda game of emotional detachment, whoever detachs thereselves the best wins. Not really sure what your winning, I don’t want someone that likes me because I treat them like I don’t like them and show them no positive emotions.