So I have a major confession to make but you can’t hold it against me.  Here goes…please don’t judge…ok, so…I confess…I watch The Hills on MTV and have never missed an episode or a season.  I’m totally wrapped up in these young rich girls’ lives and I can’t seem to get enough of it.  I don’t get it, my husband doesn’t get it, but it is what it is.

One good thing does come out of my Hills addiction.  It gives me plenty of Single Ladies Friday post ideas.  Perfect illustration, this season the storyline has focused on Kristen and Brody’s love affair.  They dated in the past.  She still has a thing for him.  He wants to be “friends with benefits.”  She clearly wants more but accepts the relationship on his terms.  My thinking is that she’s holding on to something that she may never get and he knows it and continues to take full advantage of it.

Truthfully the show is appealing because in my dating days I dealt with the same issues and I know too many ladies who are dealing with the same thing.  There is nothing wrong with being a “bed buddy” ; if both parties involved are in agreement that that is the extent of the relationship.  The issue surfaces when one party wants to engage in the vertical position.   It is really difficult to develop a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, when the courtship never happened.  It is especially hard when one person (usually the guy) is saying “let’s be friends, are you coming over tonight?” and the other person is saying: “I’m coming over tonight, can we talk about us?”  Essentially what is being said is- “You are not giving me what I want” — and so on this Single Ladies Friday, I am saying – why are you with him then?  If the person that you are in a relationship with does not want to or cannot give you what you need and want, there is no reason to stick it out.

In any situation, especially in a toxic relationship situation – you will not find what you want until you stop accepting everything that you do not want.

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Tags: bed buddies, Dating, friends with benefits, relationships

This entry was posted on Friday, June 25th, 2010 at 7:40 am and is filed under Single Lady Fridays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.