Last week I came across my Match.com profile.  Of course, the first thing I did was run it to Sean to read it back to him.  I thought he would get all mushy and reminiscent about our whirlwind love affair.  Well, that didn’t happen.  Instead he dropped to the floor in fits of laughter.  He couldn’t believe how much I wrote about myself.  My response to him: “you can’t believe I enticed you with a profile.”  Then we both fell to the floor.  It was all pretty hilarious.  Just so you all can share in the laughter, here is a snippet of what I wrote in the section  – About Me and What I’m Looking for:

I’m looking for a brotha’ who is in the place he wants to be in life or at least is heading in that direction.  Someone with good values.  I am a firm believer that men should be into their outward appearance as much as women are.  Apparently, today that would make him a “metrosexual.”  Well if that means you buy a new outfit for someone you would like to impress, you get a fresh hair cut before each date, or your belt matches your shoes…sign me up!  I’ll take a metrosexual man any day of the week.  Caveat—he must still be able to rock a pair of timbs and jeans.

Hilarity! But, at least it was honest and matter-of-fact.  And that’s what I suggest should go into an enticing online profile: honesty, humor, a sales pitch, crafty words and a killer sexy updated profile picture.  So, on this SINGLE LADIES FRIDAY I am sharing with you all a formula that will allow you to ENTICE HIM WITH A PROFILE.

Keep it real – Do not lie about your career, your weight, your hair, your height or who you are.  If you’re not ready to put your true self out there…you may not be ready for the dating thing.

Be clear on what you want – question: would you search for a job without knowing what you want to do every day, five days per week?  I’m sure your answer is NO.  Same goes for a man- you should not search for a man without knowing who you want to do every night, six nights per week.

Sell yourself – be shameless in your self-promotion.  Look it’s really cut-throat in the man search market.  Browse through your competitions profiles and make yours better.  That’s it- shameless with a purpose.

Hire a photographer if you have to- when I asked Sean what attracted him to my profile he said “the picture, I don’t think I really spent too much time on the words.” It does not make much sense to post a profile without an amazing face shot.  Try to post at least three more photos that give him a sense of your hobbies, body type, sex appeal, humor and friends and family –  as evidenced above guys do not really read.

Finally, just have fun with it.

Next week:  So many sites, so little time – part two of the four part series.

RoseyYNot – Contributing Editor

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Happy New Year’s to you all.  My apologies for the three week hiatus; at first I was suffering from holiday malaise, and then came the tragedy in Haiti…I just did not have the heart to blog.  I’m still sad, still praying for my people, but it’s time to get back to writing.  So here goes…

For the past couple of months I’ve been searching for my dream job.  The search has been really tough.  Partly since I am searching in one of the worst job markets ever, but mostly because I am determined to make a total career move.  In September I submitted my resume for an amazing position. One month later I was called in for the first interview.  You could not even imagine my level of enthusiasm.  The interview went well; I liked the interviewers, they liked me back.  We parted with handshakes and agreed to stay in touch.  I left excited and dreaming of the possibilities.  When I reached home I scribbled my signature over and over again with the prospective job title preceding my name.  A few weeks went by and I did not hear from them. I checked my phone; made sure my ringer was on.  I emailed myself to ensure that messages were going through. Then I became deflated. Just when I began to think “was I imagining that we hit it off?” they emailed.

Without skipping a beat I called back.  They wanted to arrange our next date meeting.  I brought a new outfit and just waited for the day.  By this time I was so invested I stopped sending my resume out for other prospects.  We had our second meeting and I swear it went even better than the first.  We exchanged pleasantries.  Conversation flowed.  We all lost track of time.  I was sure that I could stop searching.  It was the perfect fit.  They promised to call before the holidays.  We are twenty days into the New Year and they have not called.  They did send an email. I guess to keep me interested. Why can’t they just call…I just want to know?

So here I am, four months later, waiting and all I can think about is how much this PROCESS reminds me of my dating days.  The meet, the date, the wait for the next date.  The worst was when I thought “this is it!” and he never called.  Single Ladies, what do you then?  Do you call? Do you e-mail?  Do you get excited when he finally does call?  Here is what I really want to know (maybe a dude can answer) after a good first date and a great second date…why not just call?  If I am not the best candidate, I just want to know.

RoseyYNot – Contributing Editor

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In dating it has to be played.  I’ve had many conversations with friends who state that they are not interested in playing games or that they are done playing The Game. And to them I say, do not give in.  Now, I am not advocating playing mind games or being devious in any way.  To me, playing The Dating Game simply means not giving more than you are receiving, remaining one step ahead and not laying all your cards out for him to see.

Last week as a comment to “The Why’s of Dating”, L, a dedicated LittleHoliday reader, provided a Man’s perspective on why men do what they do.  Amongst other things, he stated that a man wants a woman who is confident, secure, active and independent.

His comment reminded me of Joy.  You remember her, the 25 year old beautiful and recently single girl who had her heart broken.  In brief, this is how her story unfolded: she met a guy. He pursued her.  She kept her cool – made him chase a little.  Then she gave in and gave in hard.  She laid her cards out before he showed his hand.  He stopped chasing. He did not call as much and began taking her for granted.  Shortly after, he called it off.

Had Joy played The Dating Game her circumstances may have been different.  What I gathered from L’s comment was that a woman should remain secure even when she wants to show her deepest vulnerabilities.  L may have advised Joy to call up her friends and hit the town when she felt an intense urge to spend every waking moment with dude.  Rather than crying, Joy should have turned away and reminded herself that he was the one chasing.

So, on this Single Ladies’ Friday, I am suggesting that the Ladies keep it cool and stay on top.  If he pursues you it is because he sees something he wants.  Continue being that girl.  Maintain your swagger, stay confident, secure, active and independent – - and keep playing The Game.

RoseyYNot – Contributing Editor

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