Demi and Ashton, Vivica and Fifty, Cameron and Justin, and most recently Toni Braxton and that fine-young-pretty-thang Trey Songz; they’re all hanging out in Cougarville. Now, I don’t know if Toni and Trey are an item but she sure did look like she was having her way with him at the Soul Train Awards.
Apparently being a “Cougar” is now a-la-mode; the “in” thing on the dating scene. I recently researched the word on the trustworthy resource site www.urbandictionary.com. I was appalled by the description which read: Cougar – a 35+ year old woman on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do anything male. To all of my 35+ Single Lady readers, we all know there is no hunting for, pouncing on, or prowling involved when it comes to the young dudes out there. They are so quick to holla. The question is: do you holla back?
I was 27 when I holla’d back. By definition I wasn’t a Cougar but Timothy was 6 years younger. Timmy was a fine, young, “athletic” dude. He worked me out. When we met I thought he may have been at least 25. When he finally revealed his age I was shocked—told him that I couldn’t. That night he kissed me and I thought “age ain’t nothing but a number!” We dated for about 1 ½ years. We even thought about becoming roommates. He was fun, attentive and so physically inept. Best of all he put me on a pedestal. At the time guys my age and older were not comparing.
While there were plenty of great things about the relationship, dating a younger dude did have many drawbacks. I faced many of the issues that I discussed in the post titled “Dating Down.” In addition, there was an expiration date on the relationship. At 28 I was looking for things that he just wasn’t ready for. I was making moves he couldn’t keep up with. The biggest problem was that he was young and needed to play the field for at least 10 more years. I was done playing. It all worked out in the end because after going to Cougarville, I was able to recognize when a grown, mature and sexy relationship came along. Without hesitation I pounced on that.
On this Single Ladies’ Friday I say take a trip to Cougarville. Get your workout on, but know when it’s time to move on. You might meet a mature young guy, but the fact remains that 9 out of 10 times there will be issues caused by the simple fact that you are older, wiser, and more experienced. Understand what you want to accomplish on your trip. More importantly understand that the age gap brings on a whole new set of dating issues for you as well as him. Bon Voyage!

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